Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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