the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
