It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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