Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
