i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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