Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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