I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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