it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
