can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
