I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
