wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize