so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
