U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he shaved USA in his pubs
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Shame - the story of my life.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
