just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
