what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
