he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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