Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
