Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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