I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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