break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
