he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
