I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
