I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
