You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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