A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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