some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Green mimosas i think yes
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
