oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
