meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
