someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize