There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
