I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
there was a trapeze. enough said
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
