Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i think i have herpe
just one?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
