Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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