your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize