Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
