True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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