Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
