dude i'm inner monologue high
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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