What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just tell him i said nine months
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
