Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My vagina just clenched in fear
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
