i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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