just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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