My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
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