I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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