Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
