my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
