Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize