Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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