no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I lost the right to judge tonight
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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