Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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