He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She's the barista slut.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
