There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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