I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize