Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
