I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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