You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
