I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize