Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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