If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
