Kareoke will never be a sober sport
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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