yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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