Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You are a genius and a whore.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
