im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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