Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
