Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
