i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
