i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
