Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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