Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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