Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
