Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Randomize