Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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