yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
