just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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