is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
