She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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