His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
