mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
