Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize