you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
