i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
