so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
