Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
